Some Funny Definitions......................
Collection
1. He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
2. He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
3. He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
6. He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
7. He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
8. He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
9. He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
10.He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
11.Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
12.Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
13.Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
14.Divorce : Future tense of marriage
15.Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
16.Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
17.Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
18.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
19.Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
20.Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
21.Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
22.Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
23.Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
24.Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
25.Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
26.Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
27.Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
28.Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
29.Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
30.Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
31.Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
32.Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
33.Optimist : A person who while falling from EiffelTower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
34.Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
35.Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
36.Father : A banker provided by nature.
37.Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
38.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
39.Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
40.Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
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